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Why my birthday makes me wanna cry

I recently celebrated my 23rd birthday. My birthday was something I always looked forward to. Ever since I was younger, my family would always make an effort to make every birthday special to me. My birthday was my favorite day of the year until I was in college.

While I was in college, I met this guy who became one of the people who was closest to me. Like my parents, he would always make an effort to make my birthday special. He would edit my face into my celebrity crushes as a present, he would surprise me on my doorstep with a cake… things like that. Even when we were no longer speaking, he does not forget my birthday. So… every year, he would still greet me.

Now, my birthday was the day that someone in my past would pop up. On my first birthday after our fallout, he greeted me along with an explanation why he ‘pushed me away’ – his words, not mine. After that, he would greet me a ‘happy birthday’ with a message that he wishes me well. His messages was something I also always look forward to. I love his messages, I appreciate his intentions but a part of me hates it. His messages always bring a dull ache in my chest so after reading his message, I become sad throughout the day.

On my latest birthday, he added a message that I’ll do great in med school and I shouldn’t be too hard on myself. And that he misses me. After I read that message, I felt like crying. I felt like crying inside a bus with tons of people.

So… that’s it! I just wanted to share a bit about myself here in this blog. Thank you so much for reading! How about you? Any special memories about your birthday? Let’s chat through the comments below!

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