I learned from medical school that we remember our dreams vividly when we wake up when we are on the Stage REM of sleep. We already know a lot of things about sleep but we aren’t really certain about what dreams are.

Some theories suggest that it’s just a random, like they don’t really mean anything, just our brain making random connection between synapses. However, other theories also suggest that it has something to do with what we bury in our subconscious. Maybe our thoughts hate being buried and wants to escape and they can only do that when we’re asleep. I really wonder what do dreams mean because there’s a particular dream that I can’t stop thinking about.

It was 5am earlier this day and I woke up from a dream. The dream started as normal… me in a convenience store and then someone in my past showed up. I was happy and surprised. Then, he starts on putting things in the card… things he wants to buy for me. But then, he just disappears. And then I cried and I cried and I cried… I am thinking that it was all a hallucination. I even wanted to check the CCTV footage. However, it’s not really the dream that bothers me.  It was the feeling after I woke up because all the pain was there. The heavy heart that I had on the dream followed me in my awake state.

I wonder… does my dream reflect what I really want? Is it a way of my subconsciousness to tell me of things that aren’t really meant to happen? Is my dream telling me that I should abandon all hope and avoid that pain?

Whatever this dream means, it bothers me because I kind of thought that this certain aspect of my past is behind me. I really thought that I finally accepted that it’s not meant to be. Maybe, there’s still a part of me waiting and that no matter how hard I try to obliterate that part of me, it will always be there. Whatever.

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